It's been a long time...

So much as happened since my last post in 2009. I feel like I should recap.

Between then an now, I've gone back to school for a second degree, had a close family member pass away, and became a parent myself.

So where does that leave my dressing? I think I've filled all my free time with other things. Between school work and watching after a small child, I've had no period of time to really enjoy dressing like I did three years ago. I still get a chance here and there, but it's not the same. The effort level is very different. Before, I would ensure I was shaved, all the correct (and matching) foundation garments where on, and tried my best to put together a respectable outfit. Now, I throw on the first thing I see, and don't care if a "guy in a dress" is the only nice thing someone would say.

I still have a rather full closet of clothes. It still gets added to when I see a good deal, or something that looks really cute and I have to get it. But I think I'm talking myself out of a lot of stuff now. I can see where the fabric would not look good over my tummy.. or something that won't help the illusion of hips. It's saving me money, but I get frustrated when I don't have the chance to wear anything.


Now that I've posted in the first time in three years, I'll try to stay up on writing more. Thanks to all those that replied 3+ years ago. :)

So, what's next?

After the failed try of getting down to a size 16 by mid-March, I find myself asking "what's next?". I could give up, but the failure is helping me stick with the idea of getting in shape and slimming down. Last night, I made sure to drag myself to the elliptical and get in at least 30 minutes. I have many reasons why it's a good idea, from getting off high blood pressure meds to having more energy in general.. but the #1 reason that gets me to the machine is the fact that it's a tool to help me be able to shop in the misses sizes.

The "what's next?" line can also be applied to my therapy. At the end of the last session, the question came up. I feel like it's valid. I've gone from having general ideas to the personal questions I had, to a state of knowing the where the limits/balance are and gaining the confidence to explore outside of the house. Things at home have found that balance, so I really am asking myself what else therapy could help with. Feel free to leave a comment, if you have an idea.

In an effort to answer my own question, I think I've made up my mind to join a local support group. More on that as details unfold.

Failed; early

With only about 2 weeks left, I am 100% sure that I'm not going to reach my goal to get to a size 16. Looking back, I know my biggest problem is portion control.

Knowing that I didn't make, what could have been an easy goal, has me kinda bummed out. It's killed off what motivation and confidence I had gained in the last month. It's even affecting my thinking in regards to cleaning out my closet of clothes I bought but never wore. I'll probably do a mini-purge.

In an effort to cheer myself up, I did purchase new shoes. All of the black pumps I own are ill-fitting. I finally found a pair that look very nice on my feet, and they STAY on my feet when walking.

One of many things on my wishlist

These boots have caught my eye for well over a year.  

The price is right, but if I were to buy these, they would be my 6th pair of knee high boots.  I understand a girl can't have too many pairs of shoes/boots, but my problem is now storage.  I very much need to go through my closet and let some of these articles of clothing find new homes.

I'm also a fan of Mary Jane style pumps.  Not the type girls would wear to school, but the type that adds some style.  Something like this. 

But then again, closet space is an issue.. and I already have 4 pairs of this style. 

Oh, so close...

Today, was supposed to be a busy day.  Skipping out early from work to handle a follow-up doctor's appointment. (Turns out I have a huge deficiency in Vitamin D... so much so that I have to take 50,000 IU pills for the next 2 months.  There is a little voice that's comparing the lack of D, which prevents calcium from being absorbed into the bones, to problems older women face.)  After the appointment, I was planning on stopping over at a local unisex hair salon chain and boldly going in and saying I want a 'real' haircut and my eyebrows trimmed up.

When I say 'real' haircut, I'm not trying to say I've gone 30+ years without someone taking a pair of shears to my head.. but a haircut where I don't say, "Number 5 in the back and 3 on the sides/top".  I guess the correct way to describe it is.. a non-trimmer cut.

So I sat in the chair, trying my best to describe to this poor woman that I want to grow out my hair (again), but it's completely unmanagable and way too curly for me to maintain any length without it looking like a mess.  She tried hard to understand, but in the end got me down to just trimming the tops/sides, making my hairline at my neck more even/clean, and 10 minutes styling it to how I wished my hair looked each day.  I'm not sure when the next time I'll visit again, but I have this thought that I'm probably only going to be able to get away with a bob-like style.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.

You may also notice, I haven't said anything about the eyebrow trim.  Well, that's because I didn't get one.  But it wasn't really for lack of asking; I did ask.. but the girl in the front of the store, either didn't hear me, or was compeltely surprised that I asked for it, that she was confused.  I had to help her out, and just say "I want a haircut".  I still need the eyebrows trimmed, but not sure when I'll get over my fear and get them done.  My backup plan at the moment is to use some of my ELMA cream, from my laser removal treatments, and then go to town with tweezers.

Update - Feb11

Without this becoming an online diary for the diet/weightloss goals..  I figured I should report that the scale was used for the first time on Monday (2 days ago).

222 lbs.  That's a quite high value to start with, but I'm very much hoping that in a month, that could be knocked down to 210 at least.

More meaningful posts to come.   I promise.

Quick update

*sigh*  We all know how the winter can throw us some curve balls.

The dieting/weight loss has hit a bit of a bump, due to being busy with work/family and also battling a cold that just wouldn't stop.  When things looked promising, Mother Nature opted to throw temperatures in the single digits at us.

All those things are just excuses.  I've picked myself back up off the couch and renewed the push to get to 16 by mid-March.

Here's hoping it works.